I Once Had a Dream
by Zenaga the Sea Serpent
Summary: Funny how your life flashes before your eyes... Pai x Retasu


**A/N 12/10/2010:** Nonstop work + nerdy girl + not writing anything for a long time = an angsty, first person oneshot. I'm really tired. Yes, I will review my contest entries soon, but as I said, I've been pretty busy with my job, so I wrote this to unwind. Soon, guys. Soon. I'll update Experimentation soon too! And Ghost Story! And My Heart is Full of Dust and Sand! I swear! Please don't kill me for being totally lazy!

Sincerely, Zenaga the Sea Serpent

P.S. See? I totally do love happy endings. Also, old Disney movies are the best. I like Beauty and the Beast.

P.P.S. Please don't expect this to be an amazing piece of literature. It's really not. It's just something to amuse me.

* * *

There was this dream I had once.

I was on Earth, but it was different. The sweet smell of flowers filled the air as humans and cyniclons walked the street in harmony. I remember the warm feeling in my heart as I watched the scene before me. _So, this is what peace looks like…_ I heard a soft, sugary voice say my name. I looked down at the girl below me who was emitting soft gasps. I realized that the scene had changed to a secluded room, lit only by the light of the moon. Her blue eyes glistened with joyful tears as she smiled up at me, a light blush on her cheeks as she sheepishly covered her bare bosom with her delicate hands. I watched as she moved her hands down to touch the growing lump in her belly. Such a warm feeling caught hold of my stomach as I witnessed this beautiful sight. A child, her child, my child. I felt myself smile as I shut my eyes, pulling my lover into a gentle embrace.

And then, I woke up to my cold chambers, sending a chill down my spine that reminded me so much of my home planet.

* * *

I have become so good at feigning my emotionless disguise. Everyone believes that I am cold and heartless. Kisshu believes it, my family believes it, and I think Retasu is even starting to believe it. And Taruto…

I just killed him.

One of my only true friends, and I slit his throat with a blade of wind. That silly child Mew is bawling and Retasu is screaming at me. I do not want to look; I do not want to see that pained expression. She knows there is no hope for me. She knows that she must fight me. What she does not know is that my heart hurts, and my head is throbbing. Of _course_ I care. Of _course_ I feel like dying. Of _course_ I feel like a monster. But, I know that I must fight for the sake of my species. I know that no matter what my heart says, I must be the voice of reason when my comrades will not. I know that I must be the one who is hated.

* * *

I remember every time that she tried to make peace. I remember every time I saw her smile sweetly after they won a battle. I remember every time she made that frustrated expression when she missed her target. Although she is deceptively gentle, I know that she has a competitive side. So badly do I wish that I could be the idiot that is openly in love. I remember once, I gave into my urges, and I spied on her. It felt wrong to do that, but I wanted to see her, I _itched_ to see her. I saw her making jokes with her friends. I saw her tripping and breaking dishes, taking orders. I saw her blushing over that horrible blonde man. I felt an unfamiliar feeling – jealousy. What a horrible thing the Mew was doing to me. I wanted to run my fingers through her hair, to unabashedly take her lips with my own. I wanted to kiss her all over, to give her unimaginable pleasure. I wanted to give her a home, a family. I wanted to give her everything. I wanted to give her my heart.

Once, we had a fight underwater. I cursed myself for every blow I made. My love for that girl… no… that woman… my love was beyond anything I had ever felt. As she swam past me, towards that horrible man, I wanted to reach out, to apologize, to make peace, to confess. But, my plan was crushed when she embraced him, and then kissed him.

I had always known that it was foolish to love her.

* * *

I am a fool. I turn to see Retasu. Tears are streaming down those rosy cheeks as she stares at me through glossy eyes. I want to speak, but my words stick in my throat. Everything is total chaos. The chimera is ruthlessly attacking the Mews, that purple Mew throws an attack at me every now and then. Retasu looks completely broken. She keeps protecting that man, keeps protecting his worthless life with her own. I wonder if everything would be better if I simply allowed myself to be killed. Yes, if I die, everything will turn out alright. I look to Retasu again. She is fretting back and forth between Ryou and the chimera. I almost want to laugh. She's in the middle of an incredibly frightening experience, yet, she still worries more about others than herself. Then again, that is one of the reasons that I fell in love with her in the first place.

I feel words spill from my lips.

"If we had been born in a different era…"

I have Retasu's attention. She looks surprised as I speak. No more words come to me as I remember all the sensual dreams I had about her, all the lingering thoughts of impossible kisses. No words come to me as I remember the vision that I had, where Retasu smiled so sweetly at me, her hands resting on the folds of the kimono over her belly, swollen with an unborn child. No words came as I imagined sitting on the beach, sand between our toes as we stare out at the ocean, our fingers intertwined. No words came as I witnessed her bruised and battered body as she stared up at me in confusion.

And then, I saw her hand touching Ryou's.

"No, that's a joke."

_No, that's a joke._

Strange, she almost looks sad now.

* * *

What if we had been born in a different era? Would I have a family with the love of my life? Would I live my life in peace, a quiet life where I would come home to my green-haired beauty?

I ponder all of this as I stare at the huge beam of light that is destroying everything in its path. I see the Mews huddled together, bracing themselves. I see the panic on Retasu's face, and I know what I have to do.

I teleport in front of the beam, ready to sacrifice myself.

I look back to the Mews. They all look surprised, but Retasu looks even more panicked now. For a brief moment, I allow myself to think that she might care for me as something more than just another being, and I smile sincerely for the first time. I look back, facing my destiny as I draw out my fans.

More words slip from my mouth, but I am too terrified to realize what I am saying.

* * *

I died.

I woke up to a field of flowers. Retasu was there, smiling softly as she placed a daisy crown on the head of our girl, who giggled in delight. The girl got up and ran though the field, smiling giddily. Retasu watched her go, a soft smile on her face before she turned to me. As she smiled at me, a blush graced her cheeks. She walked over to me, sitting down beside me, her head on my shoulder. I close my eyes, relishing in the joy of the peaceful moment.

"She's beautiful, isn't she, Pai-san?"

"She got it from you."

"Pai-san?"

"Yes?"

"You need to return."

I open my eyes, looking down at my lover, her body scratched and bruised. I grasp her shoulders in worry. "Retasu, are you-"

"I need you, Pai-san."

And then, I remembered everything.

* * *

When I woke up, I really was in a field of flowers. But this time, it just covered the rubble, and Taruto's face was the first that I saw. I said his name as if it were a question. He looked at me as if I were an idiot. "Come on Pai, we need to help." I wiped the blood from my mouth, struggling to my feet. I needed to help. I needed to help Retasu.

* * *

It all went by in a flash. One moment, I was dead. The next, I was in a field. Then, I was in a crumbling ship, driving it away from Earth. And then, I was on my ship, pondering if I would ever see Retasu again. Kisshu and Taruto pretended to be happy and satisfied with our exit, so they were more than a little surprised when I suggested that we return to Earth for a short while to say goodbye to the Mew properly. After a few moments of staring, they agreed excitedly, and we turned the ship around.

When I saw Retasu, her mouth gaped open. Well, really, all the Mews seemed shocked. But I really only focused on Retasu. While Kisshu and Taruto made conversation with the Mews and company, Retasu and I simply stood staring at each other. When she looked as if she were about to speak, I lifted a finger to her lips, causing her to blush. Hesitantly, I curled my hand around the back of her neck, testing the waters. Her cheeks reddened furiously at the contact, and her eyes darted about. However, she didn't move away. And then, quickly, before she had a chance to object, I hastily pressed my lips to hers, pulling away quickly. She looked as if she were about to faint.

I turned to see the Mews standing speechless. The silence was broken when Kisshu started whooping and hollering, an activity which the Mews quickly started to join. I rolled my eyes before turning back to Retasu, only to receive a completely unexpected kiss, as sudden as my own. As she was pulling away, I saw small, happy tears forming in her eyes. Now, it was my turn to feel faint. Before I knew it, I was holding the love of my life in my arms, breathing into her hair.

And then, I knew, no matter how many times I would be reborn, I would always love this woman.


End file.
